Thursday, November 02, 2006

Random Ravings Run Rampant

Sorry, my dear reader (all one of you), it’s been increasingly hard to get the time to write lately. I can’t really do it at work, because there are spies everywhere. Since Boy and Girl Kid are now both in college, my home life is full of chores, cat poop, helping people with their homework, and expiring on the couch. I’m boring, I know. We barely have time for movies, how much does that suck?

So, in no order, my random thoughts for you today are…

Marie Antoinette
The Good—the movie was filmed in the actual Versailles, which is something you don’t get every day, so you should automatically go see it right this minute. And the clothing and hair is very elaborate and nice, so there is that. Plus Jason Shwartzman (really a Coppola), is just too sweet for words. I love him…but maybe not so much in this. The Bad: I love director Sofia Coppola, so shut up. Still, she went out of her way to show how bored these royal teenagers really were, and instead she sort of bores the audience. Plus, I happen to know that the real French court of the time was hella more debauched, filthy and randy than they showed in the movie, and frankly it could have used all of the above. The real 18th Century French aristocracy showed up at balls topless, fornicated in the bushes, pooped in the hallways, and poisoned each other right and left; whereas, this movie depicts it all as remarkably sexless and bloodless, which was not a good choice. Coppola also randomly added 1980’s pop music to the score, and I really wish she’d committed to it—the mostly classical soundtrack with the occasional pop song thrown in just didn’t work.

The Presige
Here’s a movie about duplicity, duplication, double-entendres, lives of passion and obsession, and of just how far someone will go to keep their secrets. The Good—Good director Christoper Nolan, good actors, fine sets, Christian Bale and David Bowie (Bowie!); and, it’s better than The Illusionist. The Bad: the storyline is complicated, and you really have to pay attention to figure out what’s going on. But, that’s not really a “bad” thing, right? You should be paying attention. And it has bland “It Guy” Hugh Jackman, for whom I can’t work up the energy to hate, but who is a bore. He’s just handsome enough, just tall enough, just enough of a good actor…blah blah blah. Boring. Scarlett Johansson plays yet another cupcake, and I’m actually ready to see her do something a bit more challenging now. Still, it’s a good movie. Not all of you will like it though.

Why aren’t people more worked up about health care in this country? Most of us are uninsured, or under-insured. Why are we being so bland about it? Get out there and make a fuss. Sigh. I have no hope about the outcome of the upcoming election. I think it will be just sound and fury, signifying nothing, and afterwards Bush and The Boys will be more smug than ever. I expect that, over the weekend, Cheney and Rove will be unpacking Osama Bin Laden out of the mothballs they’ve been storing him in, just to ensure the House and Senate don’t go Democrat on Tuesday.

John Kerry—well, we always knew he had no sense of humor. The man can’t tell a joke without causing an international incident. Still, I’d rather he was President right now, because if he was, we wouldn’t be in Iraq, and those 2,500 or so Americans (and countless Iraq’s, Canadians, French, Polish, etc., etc.) would still be alive.

Tom Cruise teams with MGM to revive the dead studio United Artists. Shit, that guy still has clout, even after the couch, the creepiness, and everything. I won’t be going to his movies though. I’m done with him. Suck on that Cruise—you are over. Mistress Squidia is done with you, and so you are done for. It’s a given. I have that much power.

Madonna to Adopt Again
Jeez, I guess Brangelina is a contagious disease. Well, rich people should adopt poor people. It’s time they started using their money for something good. I wish some rich person would adopt me.

Red Wine Makes You Live Longer
But you get to stay fat. Hey, now I know why I’m so fat and happy. Well, not this week. I’m trying to diet again, and that means no booze. So I’m unhappy, and now apparently I won’t live as long either. God, it’s enough to make you want to drink…red wine.

Well, I had better get going. This weekend, go see Borat. I’m sure this movie will kill my brain, but then again, Sacha Baron Cohen is the new Andy Kauffman.