Monday, April 24, 2006

Wherein I Blow An Interview, Plus Two Movie Reviews

Today I had my first “real” job interview in a while, in that I went out for a job for MSN at Microsoft. My recruiter didn’t really prep me well enough, and I went in a bit blind without knowing what the job was really about. And I blew it. Sadly, I didn’t even manage to entertain myself or you by blowing the interview in spectacular style; instead I was just adequately inadequate. How pathetic is that? I sucked even at being sucky. I mean, God damn! By the time I got home, I already had the “no” email back from the recruiter. Oh well, it’s a beautiful day to have spent two-plus hours in stop-and-go traffic and ten dollars in gas money to get all the way out to downtown Redmond and back. Sheesh. But, seriously, someone needs to hire me soon. All offers considered. I’m very talented, I swear.

Two Movies
Yesterday was sunny and fair, and all the healthy, trendy and beautiful people in Seattle were out walking around in short pants, being “seen” at outdoor coffee houses, sailing, walking dogs on the beach, and generally behaving like Personals ads stereotypes and being poster people for all you teaming masses in hot, sweaty, un-scenic and/or tornado-prone places all over the country who might want to move here. [By the way, don’t—our traffic is horrendous. It’s like downtown Calcutta at rush hour only with SUVs instead of yaks. Really.]

So, on this fine day, what did me and mine choose to do? Spend it in the dark hiding from our responsibilities and all forms of exercise by having Two Movie Day of course. We’re such nerds. Plus, I’ve heard the sun can kill you.

Movie #1: Sex is Good
First, Girl Kid and I went to see The Notorious Bettie Paige at the lovely, dark and comfy Harvard Exit. We even found parking right in front of the theater, which is both rare and wonderful to find on Capital Hill, so already it was a good day.

Girl Kid, like many young and hip counter-cultural women out there right now, kinda has a thing for Bettie Paige. She’s always had dominatrix tendencies, so I suppose it makes some kind of sense. Plus, that jet-black hair, those hot red lips, those thigh-high lace-up boots! How can you not love it? Bettie Paige was pretty frickin’ awesome. I’m actually glad that the whole pin-up girl thing is coming back into vogue again, because maybe now the standard of beauty will move back to a woman with some meat on her bones, and all the little chickas out there can stop starving themselves quite as much. I’m looking at you, Lindsay Lohan, girl, you need to eat something, you look better fat. You need to get your bumps back, your career will thank you.

Gretchen Mol plays the “notorious” Paige. Yes, Gretchen Mol, who in the past has been both blond, and not exactly endowed in the Department of Curves. I think the girl did gain ten or so pounds for the role, and she is 1) unrecognizable, 2) looks amazingly fucktastic, and 3) is the spitting image of the original deal. The movie itself has flaws, but it is a nice tribute to a true icon. The film makers used a combination of black and white and color, and artfully blended real archival footage from the forties and fifties into the story. The film also shows how, (then as now), the more puritanical forces in our society tried to suppress sexuality and dictate what people find acceptable about women and their bodies. The reproductions (or possibly original) men’s magazines shown in the movie were almost sweet in their grainy newsprint pictures of women coyly peeking over their shoulders in their underwear, booty out. Today we’d find that kind of photograph in your standard department store catalogue, but back then, “ooh”, so dirty. We’ve come a long way since the fifties, but I have to wonder if we are not sliding back to those more repressive days now. I find it funny that the very people who try to limit and dictate sex in this country the most stridently are the same ones consuming the most pornography. Why can’t we all just, well, wank along? A little foot fetish is pretty tame and harmless in the grand scheme of things. A bit of bondage, some same-sex snogging, or a light spanking on the ole tush (done right) never hurt anyone, so why get so bent out of shape about it? Stop short of really hurting someone or involving kids or animals, and you will be okay, really. If God didn’t want us having sex, s/he’d have made us reproduce asexually, like oysters. [Oysters go through both a female and a male stage, and fertilize themselves. Now that’s kinky!]

Sadly, there is no actual footage of the real Ms. Paige, which I think would have helped. Still, Gretchen gets full frontal nekked several times during the movie, and her body is so fantastic it took my breath away. The first time she strips down to nothing but heels I actually gasped a bit. I can’t image what it must be like to be that beautiful. Oddly enough, the day before, Girl Kid and I had been at a garage sale where there was a small free-standing cutout of Bettie Paige in tassels, tights and a whip. Ms. Paige did have a bit of a belly by today’s standards, and I really hope that look comes back, because it’s healthier, more attainable, and damn it, looks better. I should have bought that thing, shoot. Verdict? This film is a labor of love, and an independent movie by a female writer/director (Mary Harron), so I recommend you support all that by seeing this one in the theater. But, I expect the DVD might include even more Bettie Paige information and maybe some real footage or stills of said notorious hot mama, so you maybe you will want to wait for that.

Movie #2: Laughing is Good
Next, we went back home and picked up Boy Kid, and it was off to see American Dreamz at the local megaplex. I should say, I’m not even remotely a fan of American Idol, but I thought this movie was fun on a bun. Hugh Grant was perfect for the role of Simon Cowell—his natural smarmy charm and smooth cattiness delivered the goods much better than the real Mr. Cowell does. Actually, Simon should thank Mr. Grant for making him look so good. Hot damn with a can of Spam, is it just me or does Hugh Grant look better than ever? There’s a scene where Mr. Cowell, I mean Grant, leans against a picture of himself and moans “Please God, no more, not another season, please make me stop”, and I laughed my ass off. I think Mr. Grant was imagining his own career. But he does do that thing he does so very, very well. Mandy Moore spoofs her own image again (as she did so well in last year’s indie anti-Christian production Saved), and I can’t believe I’m actually saying this out loud, but the girl can act. Sam Golzari was unbelievably cute and sweet as terrorist-in-training Omar who just wants to sing show tunes alone in his tent, but accidentally gets recruited to blow up the President of the United States on the show. Oh yeah, Dennis Quaid almost makes our real president look like a person, and that takes some acting chops. All the other supporting actors were great and clearly having heaps of fun, but I won’t bore you further by listing them. You can look it up.

Boy Kid and I laughed and laughed all through this movie, but I had to notice that we were the only ones doing so. I mean, what gives? Ice Age 2 you’ll laugh at but not this? I’m used to being the only person to be giggling like a fool at some jokes, for instance, in Star Wars, Episode I, when Darth Maul whips off his hood to reveal all those cute little horns, I laughed loudly into a packed, but completely silent theater. Please, American Dreamz was a funny movie! Everyone else in the theater sat there like stones while Boy Kid and I heaved and hawed like lunatics. Or maybe we were laughing so loudly it drowned out the humor noises of others. It’s possible. As we all know; if you talk during a move, you must be killed, but laughing at a good script is just being polite, if you ask me. Verdict? Not high art, but a fun day out.

And then we had Mexican food, so it was a good day, even if I did have a carbohydrate headache afterwards.

Now, here is your homework—someone find me a job, preferably in graphic design, (or movie reviewing) or at least close to my house (Shoreline, Washington). Mama needs to eat and pay her rent, and she promises not to disappoint.


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