Tuesday, September 12, 2006

George Bush Doesn’t Care About People

"The safety of America depends on the outcome of the battle in the streets of Baghdad," Bush said.

Um, yeah…it does now you ginormous fucktard! It didn’t in March of 2003, but now it does. Al Qaeda had almost no people in Iraq in 2001, now they practically run the place. We are the best recruitment tool for terrorist organizations around the world ever! It’s sickening. Do you, dear reader, honestly think we are safer today than we were in 2000? No, we are not. More people hate us than ever, and a lot of them are armed to the teeth. Some of them are Danish, so you know it’s gotten bad.

Last night I listened to part of Dubya’s 9/11 anniversary speech whilst driving home, and I was struck by several things; firstly, how well written it was. Kudos to Mr. Speech Writer, whoever you may be. My, my, so sincerely did Mr. Bush convey his condolences to the 9/11 victim’s families. Why, he must have spent upwards of twenty seconds expressing his regret and sympathy, before launching into the smoothest justification slash excuses-and-latest-hot-button-talking-points-about-why-we-will-be-at-war-forever diatribe yet given by his administration. I was, like, super impressed with how well this speech folded the concerns of the anti-war public (now, finally, most of us) into his verbiage. (Think you are against my policies dumbasses? Well, here, in your own language, is why you are not.)

“I am often asked why we are in Iraq when Saddam Hussein was not responsible for the 9/11 attacks…"

Oh my god, he actually admits it! Way to preempt the Democratic rebuttal! Fucktard.

Bush is a Big Old Faker and Liar
And then something stuck me—there was something weird about Old Georgie’s delivery—it was coherent, with no “Bushisms”, no mispronunciations, and almost no hint of that “good old boy” Crawford, Texas accent. I mean, I knew that Dubya’s “Just a Chump from Texas” accent was a bit of the old dog-and-pony show, but to hear my suspicions proved so dramatically was a bit unnerving. I’ll bet he even dropped the Alfred E. Newman facial expressions for this one. He gave a perfect performance of what he is: a rich, Harvard-educated Connecticut aristocrat. In the last six years, and until last night, we have never heard the real George W. Bush speak. It was spooky.

Where We Get No Respect At All
And what does this stellar performance by a consummate speech-giver mean? It means that all of that down-homey chat, mispronunciations of “nuclear”, and botched homilies, (“Fool me once…heh heh…”) are a calculating and morally corrupt construct designed to fool middle Americans into thinking Mr. Bush is not just another rich white northerner who thinks he knows what’s best for them; but, is one of them instead. A guy you could have a beer with, a good guy, a doofus just like them. I know we all make jokes about how much of an idiot Bush is, but he is not one. We suspected he might not be as stupid as he looks, but we were afraid of what this might mean about how our leaders feel about us—that we are retarded sheep, to be led around by the nose and blinded by bright shiny things and misdirection. And they are right, just barely enough of us have been fooled to get him and his into office, twice.

It is beyond insulting to think that George W. Bush and his pals have sat around writing “yokel” scripts and practicing. “No, George, dumber! Slow it down, mess it up! Act the dope, they’ll eat it up.” And we do. It’s perfect. Real dumbasses love Georgie for being just like them, and those of us who fancy ourselves to be more aware are distracted by all his stupid misspoken antics. Meanwhile, cold, calculating and morally bankrupt people with no scruples lead us into global war for the sole purpose of lining their pockets and bringing on Armageddon. By the way, that’s one story I do believe about our comic-friendly President—George W. Bush believes in The Rapture, and he thinks he’s first on the bus.

Why the switch? Because, for the first time, Old Georgie was speaking to the left, not to “his base”. George was stumping for the November elections, and instead of pandering to Middle America Red State People like we are all used to him doing, he was attempting to bedazzle the people from the Blue States instead. This is how rattled he and his people are right now—instead of ignoring us like usual, he was ready to adapt his act to try to fool the us Blues into buying his agenda. Let's not, umkay?

What Do We Do?
Hear me now people—wake up! Go vote in November (and two years from now), and get these people out office. These people steal elections and are not afraid to act illegally; how do we stop them? Democrats, do something! The Democratic National Committee seems to be on drugs, so we need to figure out a way to shake them up. You—dear reader, stop being a deer in the headlights. The people who are currently running this country want you to die so they can mine your carcass for body oil. They don’t think of you as even the same species; they think of you as a resource of money, and of dead bodies in the Middle East. They want your services, but not your opinion. They don’t care about you. Make them care, and make them stop. Go register, go vote, and make something happen. Do it! Run for office if you have to. Your Mistress commands you.

And now I have to go for a quiet cry.


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