Tuesday, September 19, 2006

Movies, and Gay Marriage

Two With Aaron Eckhart
Aaron Eckhart is a pretty good actor. He’s also a: good looking dude, of the chiseled-chin variety. Until yesterday, I’d never seen anything starring Old Aaron that I didn’t like. For example…

Conversations With Other Women
Girl Kid and I saw this last Thursday, but it’s been out a while, in fact you will probably be able to get it on DVD very soon. This film is not for children, not because of sex scenes per se (although there is one that is more realistic than most), but because this movie is for adults, about adults. Helena Bonham Carter, usually so annoying, definitively proves why her directors keep falling in love with her. (In case you didn’t know, Ms. B. C. broke up Emma Thompson’s marriage to Kenneth Branagh, who’s career never recovered; she also busted up Tim Burton and Lisa Marie, the skank). I can find no biography for Conversation director Hans Canosa, but from the movie, you can tell right away he’s been married and divorced at least once. Unless Mr. Canosa is a total troll, Tim Burton should watch out. Conversations two stars are never named, they are just “Man” and “Woman”. The director did the entire movie in split-screen, which as first was beyond annoying, and then which grew on me. The technique creates the mood of two people talking, but still totally inside their own heads. Plus, if was fun to watch a background actor walk from one screen into the other, or a hand reach out from one into the other. And Helena and Aaron were a joy to watch—these two good (and good looking) actors who obviously like each other and at the top of their game. I want Ms. Bonham Carter’s shoulder definition. She’s hot. The movie does get a bit too “theatery” at points, but don’t let that deter you, this movie shows adult relations in a way I can’t remember from any other movie. Recommended for grown-ups.

But Then…
On Sunday, Girl and Boy Kid were otherwise engaged playing D ‘n D, so I went on my lonesome (yeah, alone time) to see The Black Dahlia, also starring Aaron Eckhart. This movie badly wants to be a film noire thriller, but it is not, it’s just bad. The best thing I can say is that the hairstyles were all very nice, and that Scarlett Johannson wears red lipstick well. This was Scarlett’s “red” year—that busty red dress at the Golden Globes (as gleefully felt up by Isaac Mizrahi), that red bathing suit in Scoop, and now those red, red lips in The Black Dahlia. Other than lips and hair, this movie is a snore, which Josh Hartnett’s perma-squint and full-backal nekkid cannot fix. Brian de Palma proves that sometimes getting old is a bad thing. I think he peaked with Scarface, and that was 23 years ago. Everything since has pretty much been crap. Well, Wise Guys is my father’s favorite movie, so there is that. Still, plenty of older directors put out amazing movies in their advanced years (I love you Werner Herzog), but Mr. de Palma is clearly out of ideas. His last movie was 2002’s Femme Fatale, so I rest my case. I see Brian de Palma has two new movies coming out in the next couple of years. I won’t hold my breath. Verdict? Don’t waste your money, and more importantly, don’t waste your time. This one was no fun at all. Oh yeah, and Hilary Swank needs to never play period again. She proved she can’t pull off anything earlier than 1960 with 2001’s The Affair of the Necklace, and she fares no better here. Stick to playing modern women Ms. Hilary, or even better, stick to playing modern men, or we’ll have to come to remove your Academy Awards by force.

And Another!
Last night, Girl Kid was bored out of her skull, and so we went to see Quinceañera, which is a lovely little flick about love, acceptance, Hummer Limos, and what this crazy concept of “family” really means. And it’s gay friendly to boot. Verdict? You’ll like it, especially if you are not a dude, or at least not a straight dude.

Brangelina for President
And speaking of Gay Marriage—how rockin’ was Brad Pitt for stating in Esquire that he and “Angie” wouldn’t get married until all people who want to marry can legally do so? Yeah, this comment spawned a million jokes about dogs getting hitched, but we all know what he meant. Brad and Angelina officially win over that Vince guy and Soccer Mom Look-Alike Jennifer Aniston. Rock on. Marriage for everyone (of legal age and like, human, duh), or for no one at all, is all I’m saying. With Freedom and Justice for All. It’s the American way.

And now lunch break is over. Toodles my babies.


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