"I called it!" And, Fucktards A-Go-Go (Or Just Go)

Anna Nicole Smith named her new baby girl "Dannie Lynn Hope". I told you she'd name the kid after her dead son! I totally called it.

And now Ms. Smith has two guys vying to be named the daddy, and she's marrying Contestant #2, her super creepy lawyer "Howard Stern" (of all things). Oh boy, if she didn't exist, we'd have to invent her, she's just so awesomely entertaining. If you wrote this stuff, no one would buy it; but Ms. Smith is living it. She’s a one woman soap opera, and I can’t wait until she gets amnesia and falls off Angel Falls while secretly having an affair with her brain surgeon twin brother who might be gay.

It’s too bad about Danny Smith v1.0 though. Hey kids, don't mix methadone and Zoloft (among other things), 'cause it might totally kill you, umkay? Jeez, that's just a sad and stupid way to go.

In Other News
“Condie” Rice goes to Iran to try to stop the proliferation of nuclear weapons? Hey bitch, you are on the wrong side of the world, North Korea is not in the Middle East. As if we needed any further proof that the Bush administration’s real agenda is oil, not terrorism or world peace. If I hear any more from Team Bush about WMDs or how we can’t allow Iran to develop nukes while Kim Jong Il dances around waving his actual nuclear bomb in our faces, I’m going to go bonkers and hurt someone.

And in the on-going saga of what’s wrong with men?, Charles Carl Roberts IV goes and kills a bunch of Amish girls because he sexually abused some relatives when he was 12 and wanted to do it again. Way to go fucktard. Let’s resurrect Mr. Roberts the IV and shoot him in the head again. What a total jerk. And now the Amish really won’t want anything to do with us, so say goodbye to all those colorful quilts. What I find even more retarded is that the guy delivered milk and walked his kids to school before taking hostages and killing five children (and counting). I think if I was planning a homicidal spree, I would skip work that day, you know?

In Yet More Other News
Have you ever noticed how it’s always the Republicans who are involved in sex scandals? I mean, Clinton’s little “thing” was just a perk of being the most powerful dude in the world, and at least Monica Lewinsky was an adult who actively wanted and pursued his groove thing. Mike Foley, thank you so much; because of you, maybe, just maybe, the Democrats have a chance in November. “Family values”, indeed. I find it crazy how the Republicans are going out of their way to pronounce that Mr. Foley “never engaged in sexual conduct with a minor and is not a pedophile”. Um, yes he is. Just because he couldn’t get any of his victims to cooperate doesn’t mean he is not a creepy and criminal perv. Sending explicit emails and asking for photos is enough. Do you hear me Bill O’Reilly?

Go vote in November. Let’s get these creepy old perverts out of office. More later.